Less Perfectionism-More Peace (And Joy!)

October 28, 2014
It has taken almost 22 years of mothering but I think I'm finally getting this "less perfectionism" thing. Over the years I have been slowly, slowly, S L O W L Y working at letting go of my perfectionist personality. I do believe there is a place for order, organization and cleanliness. It’s just that when it’s taken too far it robs me of joy, which in turn robs my kids (and husband) of joy. I’m so sorry to my older kids that it's taken me years to get it!

Last week was my baby's 4th birthday and she has a serious love for all things Doc McStuffins! As popular as that show is I could not find any great cake decorating kits with that theme. I’m no cake decorator but I've done a few decent ones over the years. I can usually get some basic ideas from pictures and create something from there. This year, nothing but Pinterest perfection! I’m not so much into all that fondant and fancy. So I thought flowers! Doc has a cute pink flower on her headband, so I decided to go with that. Only the flowers would not work for anything. Not so long ago I would have come unglued over even a simple cake not working. I mean my kids need a picture of a beautiful perfect cake in their scrapbook to show them how much I love them, right? NOT! Boy did I have it all wrong. More likely my kids will see those cakes in their albums and think, oh I remember Mom not letting me near the kitchen when she made that and she was so grumpy and  frustrated! That is not what I want my kids to remember. Last week, as I was decorating the cake and a little frustration began to settle in, I looked over to see a precious face smiling at me from the other side of the counter. My sweet girl said, “It’s OK mommy. Can we just put the candles on?” So simple! She just wanted to decorate her cake with her little Doc McStuffins candles. That's all she wanted out of that cake. So she climbed up and set to work. A couple of her sisters were watching and cringing, hands ready to grab and fix her disorderly candles, but she continued, smiling and happy as can be. I sat back and watched... and felt joy. I was a little stunned that I wasn't freaking out over the cake! But my wise little sweetheart reminded me of what was important that day. These moments are fleeting and I am learning to grab hold of them and enjoy them as often as I can.

God’s grace allowed me to have a little glimmer of hope that I can be a little more relaxed; the most important things are enjoying the most important people, not time spent on perfect cakes. And look at that face!  How could I not feel happy seeing her joy?

I know it's not the greatest picture, but remember, we're not going for perfect here! ;)   

My prayer for us all this week is that we find more joy and peace in letting go of perfectionism. 

God bless,
Jen

Advent Follow Up: Vision vs. Reality!

December 12, 2013
If you have read my Welcome page you may remember that I promised to always be real. So today, real is what you will get! This is a quick post about my vision for what I'd hoped our Advent would look like and the reality of what is has been. It hasn't been terrible by any means, but it's funny how the vision and the reality can be so different. Here are a few contrasts for you...

Vision~
Nice quiet evenings reading meaningful books. My children snuggled up next to me listening intently. Joy and peace surrounding us. Can't you just picture the angelic faces?!

Reality~

While some of the books have been wonderful, many have been entirely too long for their attention span. This created a scenario quite opposite of my vision. I have had to read above the fighting over who gets to open the book, who gets to sit closer to mom, who gets to turn the page, the 3 year old blocking the view of the 9 year old and so-on. One night it got so bad I actually put the book down and walked away. Proud mama moment there. 

 Vision~
~Making some of the awesome recipes from here. 

Reality~
Our candy cane bread tasted great but wasn't exactly picture worthy. On the feast of Saint Juan Diego we were unable to make our tortilla Tilma of Roses because someone accidentally put the lunch meat in the freezer instead of the fridge. You can't exactly roll out roses with frozen lunch meat! 

Vision~
Learning many great things about the saints and the true meaning of Christmas.

Reality~

While cooking our Mexican "fiesta" (which consisted of tacos and Mexican rice!) I sent the girls to watch the Saint Juan Diego DVD. Picture this: fighting, screaming 3 year old jumping on the 9 year old. Complete chaos! And there I am yelling at them to try to get over their noise, "SIT down and watch the movie and learn something about Saint Juan Diego." Seriously! I heard myself and thought, this is nuts!

 And our manger- the bed for Jesus is NOT getting any softer! There's been some major attitude going on around here. Coming from me as well as the kids. But when I started feeling defeated and discouraged wondering what its all worth I realized I can laugh at these things. This is life with kids. This is reality. Will I stop trying? No. The truth is God isn't calling me to be perfect. (Thankfully!) He is calling me to keep trying. To keep making the effort, not to have a picture-perfect scenario with the kids, but to learn and grow. To teach my kids the true meaning of this beautiful Advent Season. And to place my focus and hope in Him. So by His grace, I will keep trying.

 I'm still hoping for a better celebration for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe today, but will not try so hard that we end up frustrated. We'll take the lessons as they come.
God bless,
Jen